The start or a return to school can be a particularly stressful time for parents trying to make sure they are ready for their child's first day.
We are talking: those last-minute shopping trips to gather the necessary supplies, trying to get your children into a regular sleep routine, all the while still trying to keep them occupied.
It is also a stressful time for some children more than others: worries about what their first day will be like emerge, especially if it is their first time at school.
Returning pupils may also be concerned about changes coming up e.g. will the room be as it was? will my teacher be there? will there be new kids to meet? They will also have concerns about friendships and relationships.
Some kids may also be struggling with the work or have high expectations of themselves. Importantly, parents also do prepare themselves in various ways for their child's return to school so your children would also be picking up on your stress levels.
There are a few things you can do during the holidays and leading up to the start or return to school to help your child be emotionally and psychologically ready:
- PREPARE EARLY. Easier said than done but a successful return to school will require your own amazing organisational skills and you might find getting the school bags ready a few days in advance, and finding out early what is missing, helps keep everyone's stress down.
- BUILD SELF-RELIANCE SKILLS. If your child will be starting school, it may be a good time to promote their own capacity to achieve some basic tasks e.g. take them on a picnic and, with your help, encourage them to get dressed, pack their school bags and be ready to go by a specified time (or when you give them the signal). At the picnic, make sure they feel comfortable in opening and closing their lunchbox, taking care of their belongings and unpacking their bag, and putting away their things properly at the end of the day. Your child will have less support available to them for these basic self-care tasks and may become unduly distressed or anxious if they struggle with them from the first day of school.
- ROUTINES AND STRUCTURE are important even during holidays and weekends. Humans, especially little ones, love structure and feel less anxious when they know what to expect. So while you might give your children more freedom during holidays, it is worthwhile still keeping some limits e.g. a reasonable bedtime or making some plans for the week that they can look forward to, but allow for plenty of quiet time as well.
- REMAIN POSITIVE about the return to school when preparing them e.g. focus on reconnecting with friends and teachers, making new friends, learning new things, etc. It is important to help children focus on the future possibilities rather than past experiences.
- LISTEN AND OBSERVE. For some children, the return to school can cause high levels of anxiety and brings up memories of past difficulties. They may often have fears that similar bad things will happen and you may notice their behaviours change or that sleep difficulties become frequent. It is often best to help your child identify specific fears and, if possible, help them reason through their concerns.
- ACT. You may not always help them through a particular issue but you may be able to develop some specific skills, e.g. social skills, assertiveness or by helping refresh their learning. For children who experience bullying at school, you may need to discuss with your child specific ways that you plan to help them ? in these cases, it may be that you will be in direct contact with the school throughout the school year.
If you are still unsure how to best guide your child, or if you are very concerned for your child's school-related anxiety and stress, it may be time to seek help from a professional. If you are unsure where to start to access help, speak to your GP who will be able to point you in the right direction.
